Something's misisng here.

I grew up on a healthy diet of video games. I'd wake up in the morning, play some tetris or contra before taking a shower and getting my butt to school. .I'd come home, play TMNT, do my home work, and play more games before going to bed. Rinse, repeat.

Something happened as time went on. I started doing non gaming related things. I discovered girls, and ended up getting rid of a lot of my old gaming stuff. Girls cost money to be around.So selling off my NES, SNES, Genesis was a nessasarry dagger to the heart.

More necessary than usual.

that's only natural. Girls are fun. I never had to return a girl to the store because she didn't work properly. Games are still fun to me...But there's a problem. For some reason, I feel like I've entered a weird twilight zone where everyone hypes up a bunch of games that I think are crap.

It's not like I hate every highly rated game. I love the idea behind portal. It's a lot of fun. Valve did a kick ass job with it. Hats off to those guys.

Yeah, because it could have been terrible!

But it's games like Angry Birds that really get my features ruffled. Yeah, this game is so crappy that I just made a shitty pun involving birds to describe my rage.

Kinda like how Brock got this shitty tat to illiterate
his hatred for art that doesn't look like a poorly drawn phallic symbol. 

This isn't some guy who's just mad that he can't get past that one level. You know the one I mean. The won with those stupid looking birds. Yeah well, I can beat it. That's not even the issue here. The problem is that this game is too popular for no reason. Is this a sign of how shitty phone games really are? This thing is a crappy ass tower defense clone, that some goobers who still call everything a Nintendo over-hyped and told all of there idiotic friends to download as well.

What the hell?  I get that the smart phone crowd aren't gamers. I understand. It's no big deal. How is it these numbskulls messed up with making a game popular, this badly? Tell me you can' find a decent tetris or pinball game on these app sites. Tell me this is all a bad dream or something. Tell me someone isn't banking off this crappy ass series by making tshirts and shit.

Tell me this stupid kid doens't look like Patton Oswalt.

 

 

Capcom goes in on Namco's development process.

We all know that Capcom made Street Fighter, the king of all fighting game series(SNK came close with KOF, but whatever) Namco is the company responsible for making fighters for people who suck at fighting games.


Capcom’s Yoshinori Ono recently fired shots in the General direction of Namco when he said this about the development of Tekken X Street Fighter:

“It might take a really long time to come out because they haven’t made a single design document yet, so they’re way behind schedule. But we definitely trust them, so whenever that game gets out the door we think they’ll have a really good thing.

Oh shit! But wait, there's more:
 

“Just to reiterate that point, they really haven’t made any progress on the game at all. It might be 2018 before the game comes out for all we know, and in the mean time, we want people to enjoy Street Fighter X Tekken. Hopefully we can make it past the Mayan end-of-the-world apocalypse at the end of 2012 and then maybe they can get around to making the game.”

He may as well said 3D Realms would have the game out sooner. It would be funny if Duke Nukem forever had a shorter development cycle than this game.

[Gaming Everything]

Music Pirate shirt

music pirate by Playmoar

Something I noticed about Street Fighter 2

Homing Fireballs should, you know, actually be a feature. I could do without the Tsang Tsung character morphing though.

A Lonely redhead appears!

Major crackdown on iPhone Stoves.

Y'all had better hide those stoves, mayne!

police have seized 681 of these ovens. These stoves, produced by “Apple China Limited”, are as fake as a $3 bill, despite having a green Apple logo and a compliance certification label. I hope the Chinese learn something from this. Namely that Apple would never sell such an ugly device – nor one that doesn’t require you to purchase all it’s apps through them.

Chinese people knew it was fake. It's called supporting your local merchants(duh). It's patriotic for them to buy crappy knockoffs like it's going out of style. Eff the Chinese Gov-ment!

[technabob]

You'll regret it...

...Blowing off your girlfriend/wife so you can pwn n00bs in *name favorite bland ass fps here*. You'll end up regretting that some day.

You see, there are plenty guys like myself who play games, and can still pull away from them for the prospect of hooking up with a women. Amazing, know? Are you okay with the prospect of me taking your girl?

My least flattering photo to date

can you sleep at night knowing the things I'll do with her while you get your jollies yelling boom head-shot at some 12 year old online? Can your little pin-headed mind contemplate the sort of jollies I like to get with the love of your life? Do yourself a favor, frag master. Spend time with your girl. Otherwise, she'll be my girl. Do your best to delay the inevitable.